Mourning the loss of a good friend...

"I think every second in itself is a miracle and realising this, nothing need seem depressing at all but it's very hard to realise that as the truth. " Anthony Maynard

Walpole Park, Ealing, May 2008

Dear Reader,

On Tuesday night I received some devastating news in the form of an email. On Thursday night, 3rd of July, a good friend of mine, Anthony Maynard, had been killed in a cycle traffic accident around 8pm being out on a club run to Henley-on-Thames.
His dad didn't have my telephone number, but was able to log into Ant's email account so he informed me via that medium. I am so glad, actually, as when I opened the email, Bennet had been in bed and I was in the comfort of my home and had Ryon around.

The past few days have been incredibly difficult, but Ryon has been a GREAT support! Not only did he hold me when I received the terrible news, but he's been bringing food home so I wouldn't have to cook and checked up on me with many telephone calls during the day.

In the past days I've been obsessed with looking up emails from Anthony, posts on various message boards, pictures I took of him on our recent visit, pictures he took on various bike trips and climbing holidays in Europe, anything to be close to him again and feel his presence around me. Last year he biked the Dolomites with a friend which I thought was incredibly brave!

With Ant's tragic passing I have lost a dear, caring and genuine friend, who was always there when I needed him. He had a great sense of humour. He introduced me to lovely walks around the countryside were he grew up. He had much love for animals which eventually resulted in turning from a vegetarian into a vegan.

Everyone who knew Ant knew his LOVE for cycling and he seemed to be very good at it, too. I had never seen him in his professional gear until I went to the Reading Cycling Club (short: RCC) website after his passing and wasn't even aware that he was part of the RCC and that it existed. When he talked about cycling I always thought he got on his mountain bike and cycled with a couple of friends, but in fact he was a well known, well loved and respected member of the RCC with a lot of scope to be a professional cyclist.

My thoughts go out to his father Dave, mother Sue and sister Theresa, who mourn the great loss of a brilliant son and brother, which they can be so proud of! He touched many lives!

R.I.P my dear Ant

Milena

A few quotes:

"Do you know what he [Ant's dog Drew] does sometimes ? When I am not really watching he grabs the lead with his mouth and pulls it out my hand, then walks ahead, taking himself for a walk. He learnt this so long ago, that I gave up trying to stop him !!"

"You know, the only one thing I know I really want to do is travel around Europe..."

"Don't mention the sea please !! I love it a lot too. Have you ever been to Devon? I went there camping about a month or so ago. It was like you said... great sunsets, sea, everything, and I never felt better when I got back. To spend all that time away from the everyday stuff makes you feel loads better."

"Thanks, it was a good time, I'm sad to be back! I came back last night [from Nepal], so I'm tired now, not much sleep! I went for nearly a month, not quite long enough to miss home, so was always glad to be away. "

"My friend does it [Salsa] and he says it's really hard (says it's easier for girls, although I can't work out why) but then that's probably because his lessons are run by an ex-policeman who is really stern with all of them and will literally shout at him whenever he puts a foot wrong!"

"Are you still enjoying living in London? I don't go in there as often as I used to, I went to Wandsworth to see my sister last weekend though because I hadn't seen her for ages. I lost my wallet on the tube a couple of months ago too, I thought I'd never get it back but the lost property department phoned me a couple of weeks ago to say they'd found it. I was really pleased until I found out I had to pay £10 to get it back! That's hardly fair."

"The trip to Nepal was unbelievable, I'll tell you about it next time I see you, there's so many things that if I start writing now I probably won't sleep tonight! I have all the pictures in an album (Theresa (sister) got it for me, I wasn't too keen on it at first but now I see it's good to have them all in one place, even if it took ages to put them in order) so I can show that, but I'll try to put them on the internet soon and tell you how to get to them. All in all though, the people were brilliant, I keep in touch with some of them. And the scenery was awesome, that is one thing I know you would have loved! You're right, I am longing to be away from home! And out of the office!"

"I’m not sure what your situation is, or what you’re doing, but I’m sorry you don’t feel that good at the moment. I can't really say anything to help as your mind is your own. I think every second in itself is a miracle and realising this, nothing need seem depressing at all but it's very hard to realise that as the truth. If you want to share anything specific that is hard, you honestly can tell me if you needed to. You have many good things about you so I hope you're not down for long."

"I'm going to Slovenia with my friend from work, we've been planning the routes for weeks and now I'm starting to think they're too hard. We're carrying everything - tents, etc - on our backs and now it feels like I'm two people! I might take a lot of pictures, so I'll show you a few of them, only the good ones. I had an endurance event in Wales at the weekend and just got back last night. It was one of the hardest I've done because of the climbing and it being 110 miles, plus still almost feeling like winter here as well."

"I had a look on your myspace area - nice dog! He looks like he's sunning himself soaking up the rays. You always have loads of different dogs to look after. Lucy is great, competely different from when she was at the rescue centre - gone from being terrified of men to chasing me around and biting my feet - I don't know if this is a good thing or not."

A email from Ant, dated Friday 07 September 2007:

"Alright Folks, Just a quick message to let you know how I'm getting on. Currently in Innsbruck, been chased here by snow, hail and strong winds. It shouldn't be this cold at this time of year - Innsbruck is covered in snow. We started in Slovenia, then rode west towards the Dolomites and then up over the Italian/Austrian border. The Dolomites were mind blowingly awesome but cold. We have done a huge amount of high passes carrying a lot of weight. The best climb so far was the Tre Cime De Laverdo, which they raced up in the Giro this year. I rode that unloaded, views at the top of that climb are unbelivable, make the 25% gradients worth the effort! Did the Zoncolan too, that is a climb! This trip has been hard so far but worth the effort - it's a lot of ride, eat, set up tent, take down tent, etc, but I'm into it and still got two weeks left. People I have met have been great, Italians especially. It's a good job that some speak English and I'm good at making monkey like movements to get my point accross because I can't switch between all these languages. Apparently I'm not very good, but I'm trying! My legs feel good and I'm eating a lot so keeping the energy up but this winter weather is sapping. A couple of mornings my water bottle had frozen and only at 1500 metres - that's crazy! My tent leaks as well, which is even crazier seeing as it's not that old. It's North Face, don't get one. We've only had to free camp twice, once on the Italy/Slovenia border after a 120km day over three passes in thunder and lightening. I'm riding out of here in the morning because Anita is flying home so I'm mentally preparing myself for two weeks on my own. I only have a rough idea of which route I'm taking but have decided to avoid the mountains because they're too damn cold and my moral might take a bashing if I'm up in them on my own! My plan is to chase the sun wherever it is though it's been out foxing me all the way so far. I might ride through the Black Forest because a German couple I met a couple of days ago said it's great for riding. Met a lot of people here, many people doing similar things such as hiking, climbing or biking staying on camp sites so there is always someone to talk to. Most of them think we're insane - it might be the time of year but no one is climbing these passes with the same loads we've got! Got to go, I'm watching the Vuelta on TV and am going to have a beer(s). See you later, Ant"