Luca's 2nd Birthday Party

Today, Bennet and I went to Luca's 2nd Birthday Party which was held at Stoke Park Hotel and we sure had fun! There was lots of space inside and outside to run around and let off steam. There were also lot's of toys to play with. What Bennet also really liked was eating cake. He would go straight for the icing! Such a sweettooth! Towards the end of the party Cecile (Luca's mommy), who used to work there, gave us a tour of the hotel. They have lovely different themed dining roooms and they are all prepared for tomorrow's Wedding Fair. I especially liked the hall with pretty danglies of real Swarovski Crystals. They were sparkly! I can hear the fireworks outside. I think there are some Guy Fawkes Night Firework Displays tonight. We might go and see the fireworks at LEGOLAND before they close the Park up over the Winter Season. Happy Halloween everyone!

Bennet's 2nd birthday

On Thursday the 10th September Bennet turned 2 years old and today we held his birthday party at Burnham Beeches.

On Thursday, the "big day" Bennet got the idea very qickly of opening presents! The first one he grabbed was the little VW camper van that my sister gave him. He opened it and saw the front and said "Oh, WOW, chew chew (train)" and when he saw the hole thing he said "bus!". We only opened half and saved the rest for later, when Papa would be home again. Then we went to Jo Jingles Music Class (Music for Toddlers) in Burnham, but it was a very small class (only 3 toddlers incl. Bennet). Bennet was made to wear the birthdaycake-hat (which he didn't like) and, as always, spent more time trying to escape the class then participating in it, which makes me wonder whether I should enrol in the next term. We sang him a birthday song at the end, but he was more interested in investigating the radiator. As always he enjoyed the bubbles most. After that we went to buy a present for my mom's upcoming 62nd birthday and then we went to the park to collect some chestnuts. He put them in and out his little stroller and seemed to have fun counting "One, two, four." (Always leaving out the three, we don't know why?) When we got home I put him down for a nap. I was so tired that I fell asleep as well and I only woke up when Ryon came home at 6pm. I didn't want to "waste" the rest of the day so I put the candles on the cake and we went into his room to wake him up. He made big eyes when he saw the candles and even tried to blow them out himself! We had some cake and after that I cut up some carrots and we went to feed the horses at Dorney Lake. While Ryon went for a run we had fun throwing stones in the lake and there was even a nice big firework in the distance that we got to watch!

Today we met up with Bennet's toddler friends for a picnic in the Park. It was the perfect weather for it, sunshine, dry, warm. Quite lovely. He had much fun drinking everybody's drinks and finishing off everyone fairy cakes behind their backs and when he didn't do that he was busy escaping while we were distracted. The other toddlers had fund chasing the bubbles (good investment) and playing with the ball.

Ryon's fairy cakes were a hit! He made Rasberry Fairycakes with Orange and Peach Sugar Drizzle. So yummy! I had cut some fingerfoods and made a cheesy pasta salad "Tricolore" with Swedish meatballs. All in all a very very nice day to remember. Bennet was so tired he fell asleep on the way home and didn't even woke up when I transferred him to the cot. As our car was filthy, we then decided to clean it and now Ryon is playing with his LEGO and I'm just gonna put my legs up!

Thank you all for the birthday wishes and thinking of Bennet. It is much appreciated. Can't believe Bennet is two now. The time really passes quite quickly! He is so good with the baby at the childminder I'm more and more confident that he will be good with his brother or sister (not that I ever thought otherwise) to be. We just have to work on the escaping habit, cause I don't fancy chasing after him with a baby!

Hope you're all well!

Milena

Creepy Crawlies

Last night I was lying in bed next to Ryon and we were both reading our books when I heard this scurrying sound to my right which sounded like little mouse claws scuttling over paper. So I said to Ryon "I think we have a mouse in here!" Both of us remember the infestation we had in our studio flat in Ealing and it's not a very pleasant memory as such! So Ryon moved over to my side of the bed facing the opposite direction, having the floor by the right side of our bed in his field of view. He went on reading his book when suddenly he saw something moving along the floor quickly out of the corner of his eye. He said: "There is *something* in our room!" I just thought >please not a mouse< knowing they are hard to get rid off. No! It was better than that! It was a huge spider moving from under our bed and running off to the side of our room where he have a little niche with a basin and now it was hiding under my tracksuit bottoms. I couldn't actually see it that well as I couldn't find my glasses, but Ryon was already in fighting mode anyway. "Just sit on the bed and don't come down" He said putting his arm out as if to protect me from a horrible monster. He was clutching his heavy A4 sized Scetch Book and all his senses were alert! Quickly it had moved on to Ryon's pants on the floor and when it came out again Ryon slipped the book onto it and jumped onto the book. He then turned the book around with the shoehorn only to find the spider wasn't under there. It was gone! "Oh no" I said. "Ryon were is it?" "I don't know!" He prodded his pants on the floor and it moved out from under them and with some quick fencing like movements he fought it. Legs flew off in all directions until it stopped moving. I'm really sorry if this is offending the animal lover who might read this. I am an animal lover, too. Normally I tend to catch spiders and let them back out into the Milly (Nature Reserve opposite our house) where they belong, but this was one size to big and a notch to fast! There was no way I could go to sleep knowing that this creature was in our bedroom. Yesterday, I let Ryon do his job.

Long time no blogging...SORRY!

Hello everyone,

this is me again, after an eternity has passed! I don't want to start with excuses...

I wanted to blog about my trip to Berlin in Febuary. I only went for a week, but it was oh so lovely. I'll try to get some pictures up! I even went on a one day adventure to see my 91 year old gran in Hamburg. Adventure it was, because I took Bennet along with me. Silly me had booked a seat on the train. I spent the entire journey chasing after Bennet on the train. :) When we arrived at my grans flat I realized it absolutely wasn't childproof! To top it of my cousin brought her little Westie who doesn't like children. The growling didn't keep Bennet from trying to cuddle it the toddler way. You can imagine how well I slept that night! It was lovely to see my gran again though! (She is going to turn 92 on 26th of June!)

Other memories from that trip are: first day I arrived there was snow! I saw my mums new flat. My niece Noelani is turning into a proper madam! My nephew Levon is such a sweet shy little boy.

Then on 20th May Ryon and I had our 2 year anniversary. Hooray! Despite the normal trial and tribulations of day to day married life with a toddler we're doing quite well. Didn't think about divorce once. :) To celebrate we went to a nearby Restaurant to have breakfast - just the 2 of us! What a rare treat!

The next day Ryon's parents came to stay with us and we took them to Burnham Beeches (lovely wood near us) in the afternoon. From 22nd until 25th May we were in PARIS!!! That was a real adventure! We stayed at a hotel right across from Cemetriere du Pierre Lachaise (a great big old cemetary that loads of tourists go to as a lot of famous people are burried there). On our last day we got to go there! We saw the graves of Chopin, Jim Morrison and Oscar Wilde. We really got a good sweep of french culture, too! The reason for that is that we had the best tourguide that you could ever wish for! If you want to get to know Paris from a different side, get yourselves shown around by a countryman (or woman in our case) who knows his/her city inside out. But don't forget to bring proper walking shoes as you are going to do LOADS of walking! We took many beautiful pictures! (Off topic: Never leave a desert unattended around Ryon!)

Memories that stand out about Paris: parisian breakfast at a parisian flat, walking through a farmers market on a Sunday, going to a "Clown Raustaurant", relaxing in Jardin du Luxembourg, spending lot's of quality time with family!

Once we came back to England we had another week to spend with the folks. Luckily the weather was fantastic so we went to see Leeds Castle, Sissinghurst Gardens, Ray Mill Island and Boulter's Lock, Savill Gardens and the London Aquarium.

Those were some action packed 2 weeks!

Now it's back to our daily routine, but we had a lovely break from it!

Milena

Our trip to the U.S.

Hello everybody,

we are more than a week into our holiday with the family on hubby's side (well also my famliy come to think of it as we share the same great-great grandfather :) and it is lovely to have the opportunity to be here again this year.

A quick recap: We flew out on the 31st Dec around lunchtime and landed around 3pm US MD time. Bennet kept us busy on the plane by walking up and down the isle, flirting with all kinds of people for many many hours. "You have such a cute baby" is what we continuously heard after the flight on our way to the baggage reclaim and, whether they mean it or not, of course EVERY parent likes to hear it! :)

New Years Eve we spent quietly, stayed up until 2am our time, but only 9pm MD time. I'm not unhappy about that, as it was quite a lovely way to end the old year and begin the new! It took us a couple of days to adjust to the different time zone (guess we're getting old as not as easy as last year :)

The first couple of days were packed with visitors and a party Ryon held for his 33rd birthday on Sat. 3rd. On his actual birthday, January 6th, we celebrated with family and as I decided to show my love by actions rather then presents I let him choose a yummy dish from our newly acquired Vegetarian Cookbook (Xmas present) which was received very well by everyone. It meant so much to him (and me) to be able to spent this special day with family and grandma Mimi in particular! It was a great great day.

All the while, Bennet has fallen in LOVE with PopPop's (Ryon's father) 19V electrical train system. He could even regulate the speed himself now how good is that? Every time the train would shoot by, the cat would frantically move its head which made Bennet giggle with delight in return. He has even adopted the *choochoo* sound. Other sounds he has learned are *woofwoof* and since we are in the US he even says "Mama" on a regular basis. While he knows that I am Mama he also uses the same word to address almost everything else, but it's still exciting!

We are flying back next week Thursday and we are trying the savor the days that we have left as they or the memories of them will be our "nourishment" to keep us going to the next time we will meet up again. Ellen (sister-in-love) will have had her baby by then and gotten used to sleep deprivation (due end of February) and Scotty and family might have even found their own place by then as he might have snapped up a job. We are very much hoping to see Mimi again next year, but after her 2 heart attacks in October we are naturally afraid of what the future holds. We are SO SO blessed to have been able to see her and everyone else again this year.

So, all in all, our year is off to a GREAT start! Couldn't be any better!

I hope yours is, too!

All the best for 2009 and Thank you for following this blog and your loyalty in that. :)

Much love,
Milena x x x

An so quickly moods can change :)

vs

Hello,

It's amazing how qickly a toddlers mood can change :) Imagine we were like that as adults. It would be chaos. Yesterday, I wintnessed a customer having a tamper tantrum at Mothercare. It was embarassing just to listen to her, she shouted, was verbally abusive to staff to the extend that they called the police. I will never understand why people like to make a fool of themselves. If I was her I would never dare to go back to that place.

Anyway, on a different note. :) We are sort off getting ready for our trip to the US. But before we board the plane on the 31st December, we will celebrate Christmas, as our own little family for the first time. That said, we don't have enough space for a lovely smelling decorated Christmas tree, but I console myself with the fact that Bennet would constantly try to pull it over anyway :) I have, however, decorated the window with some lights and ornaments and I put up our wooden little Christmas Tree that you can wind up and plays "Oh, Tannebaum". It's been reaosnably cold (for UK standards) over here, so all that and more helps to "get us in the mood". My parents are in the midst of putting together a "Care Paket", a paket stuffed full of goodies, Xmas sweets and chocolates. I wonder how long it will take to eat it all up. :)

We have been to Odds Farm a couple of weekends back. I will upload some pictures to Picassa for all to see. There are some good ones!!!

I hope this blog finds you all well!

Watch this space and thanks for reading!

Milena

We're still teething!

First of all: Thank you Ryon for informing the general public about what I should have done in the first place and would have gotten around doing eventually. *cough cough* My blog resides at a new address indeed. As you are reading this I assume you already now this! Yay, thanks for following me to the new residence! My blog title from now on matches my URL blog address. Thought it makes sense. :) A big applause also to Ryon for informing the German readers. In German! I think he has done a brilliant job! Made me laugh. Actually the whole post did!

I thought I share a picture with you that I have taken last weekend, so relatively up to date. It shows Bennet's 4 top teeth breaking through and unlike it suggests in this picture he isn't always as miserable as he appears to be in this snap shot ;) It must be painful growing teeth through the gums!




Poor BouBou! Or how the English would say: Bless!

Since Saturday 1st November we're walking :)

Bennet has made the transition from baby to toddler now. Since Saturday he is walking non-stop. He doesn't even touch his beloved walker anymore. Let the fun begin!

Cyclist that loved animals....

There was an article about my friend in the paper yesterday. You will find it here. He was a good soul and is still sorely missed, especially by his family.

We are still vegetarians or better pesceterians in rememberance of Ant. He's giving me the strength to do a lot of things that I would have otherwise avoided.

Rest in Peace.

Back at work

Since 22nd of September I'm back at work part-time and it's quite good. Benny has settled in fairly well at the childminder. The first day he didn't have a lunchtime nap and was really tired and grumpy when we picked him up. I finished work dead on time as I was desperate to see Benny- you could only see a dustcloud of where I was. :) Now after two weeks he has settled in quite nicely, despite the Monday blues he gets after a long weekend with mommy and daddy. I find the balance between working and spending time with Benny really good. My brain gets some exercise! I even sit at my old desk with the view over Salt Hill Park. Still I mostly stare at my screen all day long, but it's nice to have the option of letting it wonder over some green and to look at the clouds passing by. At work, a lot of things have changed, but in other ways it seems like I've never been away. I'm still part of the Silver Champions Team, but only 4 people are left from my old team and 7 are new. I also have a "new" performance coach, who returned from her maternity leave a couple of months back and there is another team member that just returned from hers in May. It's quite nice to share the same experiences with fellow team members. I got some coaching the first 3 days to freshen up my memory and have been on the telephone from day 3. The new telephone system that was implemented in August is still a little confusing, but I'm slowly getting used to it. The people were also very nice in welcoming me back. I think I heard the question "How is it to be back?" a trillion times. :) So that's it so far from me. Ryon still likes his new job very much. He found out a couple of days ago that his old company is going bust (the UK part of the business) and has to close all the UK branches apparently. It brought him some Schadenfreude as you can see when you read his blog. :) More soon... Bye for now X

Our holiday

So Benny and I went to Germany as we were lucky enough to find a good childminder and had a really good time there. We had some nice and warm if not hot late summer days and Bennet got to play with sand in the sandpit for the first time, even had a little taste of the sand and decided it wasn't really his thing. You can see what we've been up to in the panel to the left where there should be a slideshow with all our pictures. He also got to ride a pony for the first time ever which was so cute! He managed to hold onto the saddle with the right hand and I walked on his left holding his left hand, but you should have seen him! He looked like a real cowboy (daddy's genes?)! So comfortable in the saddle, going with the flow! His first birthday was spent at home, playtime in the Morning, nap time around lunch and then the guests arrived for 3pm coffee and cake. I had made an apple crumble cake with custard on the side and a miniature marble cake with a number "1" sparkler on top that I lit up when all our guests were seated at the table to sing "Happy birthday..." He had a disbelieving look on his face that would change for a little smile for the sparkler that he reached out for to touch and then a "What's all this about!" sort of look again followed by a short squeak at the end, so I think he quite liked it! After that we walked our calories off in the park and stayed at the playground till dusk. Two days later his cousin Noelani turned 3 (I still can't believe it!) and we went to an indoor adventure playground with bouncing castles, a ball pool, tricycle track, huge climbing frames with slides and a soft play area with tunnels for Benny to whoop it up! Have I mentioned the scrumptious brunch at "Pasternack" the day after we arrived? Uhhhh! It was soooo yummy! They had sideboards filled with the yummiest of things, sweet and savory and of course it's all you can eat so the sky is the limit. I managed to stay away from meat as they had a good selection of vegetarian food, also. And all for a tenner! So cheap! On Sunday the 14th September we had the joint birthday party which was good, too. The only thing was that the children were to young to play with each other or engage in party games, but we played hit the pot easy version, basically blindfolding the little one (sometimes not even that), putting the pot right in front of him/her and encouraging them to hit it with the wooden spoon which made a lot of noise! :) So yeah, all in all we had a really good time!

Germany and things...

Hello again :)

Just a couple of more hours until Benny and I are heading towards Germany one more last time before I'm due back at LEGO on the 22nd September!

Things have been pretty hectic here, as my prospective childminder called me two days ago to say she's giving up childminding! I nearly had to cancel my trip to Germany because of that. But I found a good childminder yesterday, pheww! So Benny will have the settling in period upon my return on the 16th September. It will also be Bennet's 1st birthday on the 10th of September. As my neice Noelani turns 3 on the 12th, my sister and I will probably pool the 2 birthdays and have a joint celebration.

Our vegetarian challenge ended on the 4th September, but Ryon and I decided to keep it up until one of us gives in. :) We've been eating a lot of veg and fruit and haven't really been missing meat (much).

I better get a couple more things ready before I head to the airport! Travelling by yourself with a baby is FUN! :D Anyone a spare pair of hands for me?

Milena x x x

Ryon Schatz, I love you! Looking forward to seeing you soon and thank you so much for helping me get ready for the trip! mwah!

First Great Western

First Great Western (the company that's in charge of the train network in and around London) have told us that duplicate season tickets are not usually refundable. (Ryon was unfortunate enough to lose it shortly after purchasing it). He got it in March and paid for it with the help of a company loan and in return sacrificed a certain amount of his salary each month. In his last month they didn't pay out his salary at all for it to go towards the loan and then we still owed them £600 after he left the company. Needless to say we dug into savings in America and subsequently paid £2480 for his annual travel card. However, since 18.08 Ryon does no longer require the ticket as his new job is outside of London and handed the ticket in to be refunded. He hadn't been told there and then, but when he chased the people up via telephone two days ago we were told that "refunds are not usually made for duplicate season tickets according to the terms and conditions of carriage". BUMMER! They still owe us over £1000, money we'd been counting on to get us out of the overdraft and up on our feet again. Now the only thing that we can do and have done is to write a letter of complaint to the Customer Service Bureau. I'm praying they will give us our money back. It's so not fair! Without dramatizing they are taking food from our baby's mouth. In moments like this I despise this capitalist country. I know Germany has it's flaws, too, but it seems like this country likes to challenge us all the time. But at least we know that if we can make it here, we can make it anywhere! We'll get stronger! :)

PS: A praise for Germany: Germany is very supportive of young families due to their "new" policy. A German friend I met up with today told me that you can take up to 3 years maternity leave in Germany. And dad's are welcome to have their fair share if they want to! Also the childcare costs are calculated in accordance with your salary.

Vegetarian Challenge...20.08. - 04.09.2008

Inspired by a fellow blogger, Michelle, I (and Ryon) want to take on the challenge of being vegetarians for at least two weeks. The challenge started yesterday and will last until the 4th of September with the possibility of extension. But Im planning to be in Germany over Bennet's birthday so I might revert to old habits, especially when I can't afford to buy food, but have to live off other's expenses (but then I can't really afford to buy propper food in this country is what it seems). To put my all in it and to get some ideas what we could eat, now that we omit meat, I took out two vegetarian cookbooks at the library. I flicked through them and the recipes inside look extremly yummy, so I said to Ryon that I could imagine turning into a vegetarian for longer if not good. And this comes out of the mouth of a devoted carnivore :) I have to add that Ryon and I have already been avoiding red meats for quite some time and stuck to chicken, turkey and fish (mostly). However, these ones I have been enjoying to the full, especially as there is no better soup than a chicken soup with some chicken on the bone. The flavour is just not the same without it. :( That's why I wonder if I can stick to it longer than 2 weeks??? We'll see.

Then, today, Bennet had a trial run at the childminder and I was having typical motherly feelings and doubts about whether I have made the right decision, chosen the right person to look after him, the right environment etc. When I returned after an hour and stepped into the room, Bennet saw me, moaned (as if "How dare you leave me behind, mommy") and came quickly crawling towards me like a little dog. For the record, I will be returning to work on the 22nd September for a mere £50 a week, due to exorbitant childcare costs. I don't even have the option of putting Bennet into nursery, because I wouldn't be able to afford it. So give me a good reason why I should return to work, when I seem to be working to pay the childminder??????????????? Grrrrrr. And in the meantime, cost of electricity, food and water keep rising and rising and the waterlevel is coming up to our chins. Hopefully, Ryon's new job will pull us out of the wet before we drown. Don't know what would have happened to us if he hadn't found the new job??? Now I hope he is not going to spoil it all by telling forbidden jokes, farting or generally behaving in a childish manner that's not accepted when representing a respectable person with a reputable job in an aspiring company. But I think he does realize he's got to be better than that and a family to look after. At least that's what I hope. :)

I better go to bed as it's late.

One topic I'll keep for another time: First Great Western Company. They are evil. And corrupt. Backstabbers!

Bye for now.

Milena

Grandpa meets Grandson the 2nd...

Not long ago, my dad came to visit us for a week to take in some impressions of the English Country, tourist attractions and most of all his grandson, Bennet. I got to show him around quite a bit. We went to Regent's Park, Madame Tussauds, Bath to see the Roman Baths, London (a couple of times), LEGOLAND Windsor and Windsor Castle. Here are some pictures of the lovely pair: grandpa and Bennet







We miss you, grandpa! Come back soon!

Happy Birthday to me...

This is how my birthday cake looked like. :) Can you tell
that I like to make a big fuss about my birthday? *hehe*
You only turn 26 once and I've been thinking about mortality
a lot lately so one more reason to celebrate birthdays. :)
My friend Ant never got to get 26...

Even though this whole month has been overshadowed by the
death of my friend,I still managed to enjoy my birthday.
Ryon surprised me by taking me to a Restauarnt called
Tummies for breakfast. A scrumpteous breakfast I have to say.
And Bennet quite enjoyed the tropical fruit platter. :)

After that we put Bennet down for a lunchtime nap and we even
got a chance to rest our heads as well. At 2.30pm we had 3
mommy friends with babies of mine come around to have tea
and cake with us. It was lovely to chat and see the babies
interact with each other even if it was just trying to snatch
each others toys...





At about 5.30pm I had a surprise piano lesson, which was a
lot of fun and encouraged me to make more use of my keyboard!
Defintely planning to have more lessons, but with a different
teacher...a woman, if I may be a little sexist here :)


This is daddy and Bennet warming up the piano for my surprise
lesson.





And in the evening we went for a walk on Raymill Island where
this picture was produced.




It was a fab fab day!

Thank you Ryon!!!


PS: Sorry for the messed up format in this post. It must
be the banner at the bottom, but if so it's worth it.
Go check it out!

W is for Windsor

We have just returned from a lovely outing to Windsor and I thought I'll write about our day as it was really quite lovely. For the record, summer has arrived in Britain now and it is quite HOT!Part of the reason why we were hanging around the flat lethargically, like 3 finger sloths dragging our rear ends around the flat while Bennet was so agile and active! It was really quite comical! (Ryon drew a sketch on it so maybe I'll be able to scan and upload it onto here)

Our alarm went off at 9am in the Morning. I went out to run an errand in the Morning and when I returned Bennet was taking his lunch time nap. From the time he woke (at about 1am) we were talking about leaving the house for a nice outing somewhere.

It wasn't until 5pm that we actually set foot outside our flat and I thought "the day is nearly over, but at least we can go for a little stroll in Windsor."

It's really weird, but we got a lot of things "done" when we finally arrived in Windsor. We went to a Fun Fair and got some Cotton Candy and Donuts and watched the rides, we took a 40 minute boat trip along the river Thames and watched the crowds having BBQ's by the river banks, we went to the big Ferries Wheel at Alexandra Gardens and played with Bennet in the grass (he had found a tennis ball and loved playing with it).





And when it got dark we went to a nearby Pub and had dinner on the terrace.

When we walked back along the river with the reflection of the ferry's wheel in the water I suddenly realized the couple of hours we spent felt as if they had stretched into a whole day, as if the more stuff we were able to do the longer the hours became. Does this make sense? Maybe that was, because it doesn't get dark until quite late...

I loved that Windsor was bustling with people on a warm romantic summer night....It was a lovely day!

Pictures to follow!

Life goes on....

..., but it goes on with one less sensitive and caring, fun individual. I still find it hard to believe, but yesterday's funeral was a lovely send off for my friend Anthony.

Like his uncle said in his tribute speech along the lines "We need to carry on with the good deeds that he did." and perpetuate the love that he send out into world! I am only one of hundreds who will dearly miss him! ("We will always ride together")

R.I.P.

Donations, in memory of Anthony, for the "WSPA" World Society for the Protection of Animals may be sent to A.B. Walker & Son Limited, 36 Eldon Road, Reading, RG1 4DL

Mourning the loss of a good friend...

"I think every second in itself is a miracle and realising this, nothing need seem depressing at all but it's very hard to realise that as the truth. " Anthony Maynard

Walpole Park, Ealing, May 2008

Dear Reader,

On Tuesday night I received some devastating news in the form of an email. On Thursday night, 3rd of July, a good friend of mine, Anthony Maynard, had been killed in a cycle traffic accident around 8pm being out on a club run to Henley-on-Thames.
His dad didn't have my telephone number, but was able to log into Ant's email account so he informed me via that medium. I am so glad, actually, as when I opened the email, Bennet had been in bed and I was in the comfort of my home and had Ryon around.

The past few days have been incredibly difficult, but Ryon has been a GREAT support! Not only did he hold me when I received the terrible news, but he's been bringing food home so I wouldn't have to cook and checked up on me with many telephone calls during the day.

In the past days I've been obsessed with looking up emails from Anthony, posts on various message boards, pictures I took of him on our recent visit, pictures he took on various bike trips and climbing holidays in Europe, anything to be close to him again and feel his presence around me. Last year he biked the Dolomites with a friend which I thought was incredibly brave!

With Ant's tragic passing I have lost a dear, caring and genuine friend, who was always there when I needed him. He had a great sense of humour. He introduced me to lovely walks around the countryside were he grew up. He had much love for animals which eventually resulted in turning from a vegetarian into a vegan.

Everyone who knew Ant knew his LOVE for cycling and he seemed to be very good at it, too. I had never seen him in his professional gear until I went to the Reading Cycling Club (short: RCC) website after his passing and wasn't even aware that he was part of the RCC and that it existed. When he talked about cycling I always thought he got on his mountain bike and cycled with a couple of friends, but in fact he was a well known, well loved and respected member of the RCC with a lot of scope to be a professional cyclist.

My thoughts go out to his father Dave, mother Sue and sister Theresa, who mourn the great loss of a brilliant son and brother, which they can be so proud of! He touched many lives!

R.I.P my dear Ant

Milena

A few quotes:

"Do you know what he [Ant's dog Drew] does sometimes ? When I am not really watching he grabs the lead with his mouth and pulls it out my hand, then walks ahead, taking himself for a walk. He learnt this so long ago, that I gave up trying to stop him !!"

"You know, the only one thing I know I really want to do is travel around Europe..."

"Don't mention the sea please !! I love it a lot too. Have you ever been to Devon? I went there camping about a month or so ago. It was like you said... great sunsets, sea, everything, and I never felt better when I got back. To spend all that time away from the everyday stuff makes you feel loads better."

"Thanks, it was a good time, I'm sad to be back! I came back last night [from Nepal], so I'm tired now, not much sleep! I went for nearly a month, not quite long enough to miss home, so was always glad to be away. "

"My friend does it [Salsa] and he says it's really hard (says it's easier for girls, although I can't work out why) but then that's probably because his lessons are run by an ex-policeman who is really stern with all of them and will literally shout at him whenever he puts a foot wrong!"

"Are you still enjoying living in London? I don't go in there as often as I used to, I went to Wandsworth to see my sister last weekend though because I hadn't seen her for ages. I lost my wallet on the tube a couple of months ago too, I thought I'd never get it back but the lost property department phoned me a couple of weeks ago to say they'd found it. I was really pleased until I found out I had to pay £10 to get it back! That's hardly fair."

"The trip to Nepal was unbelievable, I'll tell you about it next time I see you, there's so many things that if I start writing now I probably won't sleep tonight! I have all the pictures in an album (Theresa (sister) got it for me, I wasn't too keen on it at first but now I see it's good to have them all in one place, even if it took ages to put them in order) so I can show that, but I'll try to put them on the internet soon and tell you how to get to them. All in all though, the people were brilliant, I keep in touch with some of them. And the scenery was awesome, that is one thing I know you would have loved! You're right, I am longing to be away from home! And out of the office!"

"I’m not sure what your situation is, or what you’re doing, but I’m sorry you don’t feel that good at the moment. I can't really say anything to help as your mind is your own. I think every second in itself is a miracle and realising this, nothing need seem depressing at all but it's very hard to realise that as the truth. If you want to share anything specific that is hard, you honestly can tell me if you needed to. You have many good things about you so I hope you're not down for long."

"I'm going to Slovenia with my friend from work, we've been planning the routes for weeks and now I'm starting to think they're too hard. We're carrying everything - tents, etc - on our backs and now it feels like I'm two people! I might take a lot of pictures, so I'll show you a few of them, only the good ones. I had an endurance event in Wales at the weekend and just got back last night. It was one of the hardest I've done because of the climbing and it being 110 miles, plus still almost feeling like winter here as well."

"I had a look on your myspace area - nice dog! He looks like he's sunning himself soaking up the rays. You always have loads of different dogs to look after. Lucy is great, competely different from when she was at the rescue centre - gone from being terrified of men to chasing me around and biting my feet - I don't know if this is a good thing or not."

A email from Ant, dated Friday 07 September 2007:

"Alright Folks, Just a quick message to let you know how I'm getting on. Currently in Innsbruck, been chased here by snow, hail and strong winds. It shouldn't be this cold at this time of year - Innsbruck is covered in snow. We started in Slovenia, then rode west towards the Dolomites and then up over the Italian/Austrian border. The Dolomites were mind blowingly awesome but cold. We have done a huge amount of high passes carrying a lot of weight. The best climb so far was the Tre Cime De Laverdo, which they raced up in the Giro this year. I rode that unloaded, views at the top of that climb are unbelivable, make the 25% gradients worth the effort! Did the Zoncolan too, that is a climb! This trip has been hard so far but worth the effort - it's a lot of ride, eat, set up tent, take down tent, etc, but I'm into it and still got two weeks left. People I have met have been great, Italians especially. It's a good job that some speak English and I'm good at making monkey like movements to get my point accross because I can't switch between all these languages. Apparently I'm not very good, but I'm trying! My legs feel good and I'm eating a lot so keeping the energy up but this winter weather is sapping. A couple of mornings my water bottle had frozen and only at 1500 metres - that's crazy! My tent leaks as well, which is even crazier seeing as it's not that old. It's North Face, don't get one. We've only had to free camp twice, once on the Italy/Slovenia border after a 120km day over three passes in thunder and lightening. I'm riding out of here in the morning because Anita is flying home so I'm mentally preparing myself for two weeks on my own. I only have a rough idea of which route I'm taking but have decided to avoid the mountains because they're too damn cold and my moral might take a bashing if I'm up in them on my own! My plan is to chase the sun wherever it is though it's been out foxing me all the way so far. I might ride through the Black Forest because a German couple I met a couple of days ago said it's great for riding. Met a lot of people here, many people doing similar things such as hiking, climbing or biking staying on camp sites so there is always someone to talk to. Most of them think we're insane - it might be the time of year but no one is climbing these passes with the same loads we've got! Got to go, I'm watching the Vuelta on TV and am going to have a beer(s). See you later, Ant"

Babies turning one...

One by one the babies of my baby massage group will be turning one in the next couple of months. We already celebrated one baby's birthday on the 27th of June. The next one will be following on the 19th of July. It makes you realize that soon your baby will be a toddler and the first precious 12 months are over. I will be compiling (finally!) a scrapbook about Benny's whole first year, if I'll ever get around to order the pictures as we don't have a printer at home.